Updated: Aug 10, 2020
Day 7: 14 Days of Valentines. I got a request! Somebody asked me to do a post about the 5 Love Languages.
They wanted to know which love languages were compatible with the other love languages and which to avoid.
Let's introduce the love languages and what they are for those unfamiliar.
The 5 Love Languages is a book by Gary Chapman. The premise is that we all have a love language. It means we prefer to be loved a certain way and when we are not loved in that way, our partners' love falls on deaf ears. When a partner expresses their love in a manner of our love language, we feel more loved.
In no particular order, love languages are:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Physical Touch
3. Acts of Service
4. Receiving Gifts
5. Quality Time
You can take a quiz to find out yours here.
Now that you know yours, you can also get your partner to take the quiz as well.
As for the previous question, I want to preface this with saying that this is my opinion, but I live by my words.
I can't say that one of the love languages is better or worse than another. It's also not like personality traits or zodiacs. I believe that you should be with somebody whose values align with yours and who values your love language. It has nothing to do with what their love language is. As long as you respect them and their love language and vice versa, you're golden. After all, love languages can be learned and incorporated into the daily life. I've dated lots of people whose love language were different from mine (they can't be opposites) but we were compatible in lots of other ways, especially intellectually. So would you give them up for somebody with a more "compatible" love language? Isn't it just preferences?
Sure, maybe you think you'll be more compatible with your own love language. Say your love language is words of affirmation and the other person's is also. You might think you may understand each other better, but that also means there might be competition or negligence in other areas of your life. For example, everyone is complimenting each other all day long but nobody wants to do things for each other more than the other or somebody starts keeping score.
Or maybe you choose someone with a love language of receiving gifts because that is also your love language. You should understand each other, right? They are probably also a good gift giver and you want to receive some gifts... Obviously someone who appreciates the same things should get you, right? But are you a good gift giver? Do you understand where I'm going with this?
Either way, you will always have to learn about your own and your partner's preferences.
The key is to tell your partner how you want to be loved. You want to be complimented, taken out on dates, helped around the house, massages are nice, or an unexpected gift once in while will wow you. Don't make your partner guess what you like and want and then blame it on incompatibility in love languages. And the same way, guys, let your girl know you want to spend quality time together or you really like the way she makes that lasagna so she makes it again. You both will be better off by being open. In actuality, there is no way to be compatible in love languages. In love languages, it is what it is.
You have your love language and they have their love language, and you meet in the middle by loving them the way they want to be loved.
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